Thursday

It felt really good to workout again but the moment didn't last :(

After being very stressed out because of our son dumping his stress on me since our doctor wanted him to start a statin medication to keep his LDL in check because of our family's history of high cholesterol and heart disease and winter related home repairs (new den window still leaking and oil burner still needs reseting after a service call), I really felt sooooo much better after doing some of Kathy Smith's Kettlebell set with music only. BUT the endorphins wore off and the stress is back and I am just tired of everything.

I did get away from the snow, winter related home repair problems, and our son's constant stressing but our son kept texting me while in AC, putting a damper on the much needed minivacation. He has undiagnosed Aspergers' Syndrome and OCD. Worries about things sometimes irrationally and I am his sole sounding board and am reaching the end of my patience after doing this for so long. At first, my main motivation for being healthier was to be there for my son as long as possible and my main worry was what would happen to him after I am gone. Now, I really don't care anymore cuz I am totally burnt out being his mother.

Oh I'll keep moving because I do enjoy it and how it makes me feel but know now it is just a bandaid and do not not see any light at the end of the tunnel for this situation. I am tired of trying to keep our son's stress at a minimum and from affecting me so am just giving up and will let him stress himself and try to ignore it as much as possible.